Home > Anti-evolution > Bensteinian Rhapsody

Bensteinian Rhapsody

April 17, 2008

From MartinC:

Is this stuff real science?
Or is it just fantasy,
That belongs in a place like
Bob Jones University?
Just close your eyes,
Don’t think, just accept ID
I’m a game show host,
I don’t know biology,
But this sleazy bunch, told me so,
It could be lies, how would I know?
So long as the check clears, it doesn’t really matter to me,
To me.

Anyone? I just filmed a sham,
Put some lies into your head,
Libelled Darwin, coz’ he’s dead,
Honor, you know I once had some,
But now I’ve gone and blown it all away-
Anyone? ooooohhhhh
Was it mean to tell those lies?
You’d learn more science by watching Rocky Horror-
Anyone? Anyone? My reputations now in tatters-

Too late, my crime is done,
Dembski told me I did fine-
Behe’s squirming, (he’ll be fine),
Goodbye science lessons-you’ve got to go
Gonna leave your kids behind and hide the truth
Adolf, oooooh (a shame he wasn’t atheist)
I’ll just have to lie,
I’ll just pretend that he wasn’t Christian at all-

– guitar solo –

I’ve got a little animation of a cell,
When in haste, copy paste, yes indeed that was the plan, though-
Copyright infringement lawsuit noose is tightening on me-
Sternberg’s ethics, (they’re a shocker)
How ‘bout Crocker, (off her rocker)
And what to say of Guillermo ? Guillermo-oh-oh-oh
I’m without tenure, and nobody loves me
He’s just a headcase, embarrassing his faculty-
Spare us the whines of this mediocrity-
Please I pray – on my soul, Will you make it so
Guillermo! No-, we will not make it so – make it so
Guillermo! No-, we will not make it so – make it so
Guillermo! we will not make it so – make it so
Will not make it so- make it so
Will not make it so – make it so
That Eugenie, she’s a meanie, but there’s much worse godless foe!
Beelzebub sent Dick Dawkins and his friend, PeeeeZeeee- PeeeeZeeee, PeeeeZeeeeeeee!

So you think you’ll teach children, maybe open their minds,
Study nature, alter stem cells for cures of all kinds –
Or maybe, stop Gods plan that’s HIV,
Well if I had my way, I’d close you all down out of fear!

Science it doesn’t matter,
Lets teach theology,
Just pray when cancer strikes you,
Just pray there’ll come a cure from ID

I should have stuck to game shows…….

  1. Eric Anderson
    April 17, 2008 at 12:19 pm

    Absolutely brilliant. Love the PeeeeZeeeee! part.

  2. BGT
    April 17, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    That was sweet. Was it posted in a thread on PT’s forums?

  3. John Lynch
    April 17, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    @ BGT
    Dunno. MartinC sent it to me directly.

  4. April 17, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    Its not from PT but then again its an easy song to parody, so it wouldn’t surprise me if there had been an ID version posted there in the past. I’ve put this on my own blog but I thought John would like it so sent it across.

  5. April 17, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    Sweet! loved the guillermo mock-opera section.

  6. April 17, 2008 at 2:52 pm

    Hmmmm … real tempted to sing it. I wonder if anyone has a karaoke version of Bohemian rhapsody?

  7. Ric
    April 17, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    That was great!

  8. April 17, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    That was fantastic, I kept having the song go through my head as I was reading it.
    If having a standing ovation of one matters, you’ve got it.

  9. April 17, 2008 at 3:29 pm

    You forgot to put the best part of the song in: The guitar solo after PeeeeZeeeee!

  10. NP
    April 17, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    This is just brilliant. Somebody with some musical talent needs to record it and upload it on YouTube.

  11. April 17, 2008 at 3:50 pm


  12. andrew
    April 17, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    hahaha that was great. the meter and rhyming were perfect!

  13. MH
    April 17, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    WOW! That was great!!!

  14. ellazimm
    April 17, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    Thanks for a night at the opera.

  15. Kergillian
    April 17, 2008 at 4:30 pm

    Bensteinian Rhapsody FTW!

  16. April 17, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    I could hear brian may’s guitar all along Absolutely brilliant!
    I might take it on to putting some music and uploading it to yotube. Gotta ask my brother who is a musician btw.

  17. Elyse
    April 17, 2008 at 5:32 pm

    Peeeee Zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
    I love this!

  18. Nuytsia
    April 17, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    Brilliant! 🙂

  19. Wendy
    April 17, 2008 at 9:22 pm

    ROFL! I’d suggest one tiny change, though . . . those “Anyone? Anyone?”s in the final line of the first verse . . . should be “Bueller? Bueller?” 😀

  20. Julie Stahlhut
    April 17, 2008 at 9:44 pm

    That absolutely rocks. Kudos, Martin! (Can I get a liner-note credit for possibly coining the adjective “Bensteinian?”) 🙂
    I like Wendy’s “Bueller?” idea too, but think it would be even better on the fade-out!

  21. CanadianChick
    April 17, 2008 at 11:21 pm

    brilliant. wonderful. now an earworm, dammit.
    *starts with head bobbing air guitar solo*

  22. April 18, 2008 at 12:15 am


  23. Paul Chivers
    April 18, 2008 at 1:41 am

    I’m still wiping tears from my eyes, this is soooo funny.

  24. Cafeeine
    April 18, 2008 at 3:40 am

    Excellent rendition.
    Comedy value 9/10
    Faithfulness to original 9/10
    Hilarity value 10/10

  25. Raynfala
    April 18, 2008 at 10:45 am

    I don’t normally use terms like this, but…
    that was simply epic and full of win!

  1. No trackbacks yet.
Comments are closed.
%d bloggers like this: