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The most awesome obit notice ever?

August 17, 2008

From here:

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart.

(via fark.com)

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  1. T. Fife
    August 17, 2008 at 11:38 pm

    Well, Dolores does mean sorrowful.

  2. TheOtherOne
    August 18, 2008 at 9:19 am

    1) sounds like my dad’s mom.
    2) what’s the point? Delores is gone, and (if she had seen this before she died) would just have used this as another weapon against the family. If she truly had no friends and no hobbies, who is going to read this and think “oh wow, and here I’d thought she was nice” . . . .

  3. John Lynch
    August 18, 2008 at 4:12 pm

    Legacy.com pulled the obit, so here it is:

    Dolores Aguilar
    1929 – Aug. 7, 2008
    Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.
    She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew,
    Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci,
    Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.
    Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.
    Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing
    and learning to be a family again.
    There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

  4. August 18, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    I guessed that the link was going to be to The Onion along the lines of one of their older articles, “Loved ones recall man’s cowardly battle with cancer.”
    But this was real? If it is all I can say is that we reap what we sow.

  5. Crudely Wrott
    August 18, 2008 at 10:12 pm

    If true sentiment, brutally honest.
    If true then earned honestly, day by day perhaps?
    I have encountered people who have made me feel deeply relieved that I did not have to spend more than a short time in their presence. There indeed are poor, sad people who cannot seem to let any good deed go unpunished. Perhaps the unfortunate Delores was part of that somber and gray cohort.
    Such people also seem to lack the talents of relaxed conversation yet will go into great detail about some truth that others don’t seem to grasp. And never do they seem suspect that their discontent is a direct result. This is a great sadness and yet I think it is something that will always be.
    I’ve wondered if the old saying (said with a shrug), “It takes all kinds . . .” has endured is because there are, indeed, all kinds.

  6. John Lynch
    August 21, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    Some people were wondering whether this was real or not. Snopes has the scoop.

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