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What are you doing still here?

October 20, 2009

By my calculations it is now just past sundown in Jerusalem on the last day of Tishri and you’re not supposed to be reading this. Or maybe you are and have noticed that some folks have disappeared. Or – more likely – absolutely nothing has happened.

  1. October 20, 2009 at 9:33 am

    You put this post on timer, didn’t you? Just to piss of those of us who weren’t raptured.

  2. October 20, 2009 at 10:30 am

    It happened, but only the 144,000 true believers were taken up.

    Everybody left–your faith just wasn’t up to snuff.

  3. October 20, 2009 at 10:36 am

    For all acts of prophesy, I’m keeping my eyes on Vegas. They usually have the best odds-makers. Though I don’t know what you’d win exactly if you successfully predicted the End of Days. Really cheap tix to a Broadway show?

  4. Seamus
    October 20, 2009 at 10:59 am

    It might be a test!
    I mean, if you’re going to put in fake fossils, design everything so that it looks like evolution, but isnt, and flood the place a few times, you wouldnt just end it on cue now, would you?
    How much plus or minus would you expect a fun loving god to build in, just to weed out those last few fence sitters…?
    (Technically I am not posting this in Ireland so I should be blasphemy safe…?)

  5. Ian
    October 20, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    Oh no, it happened. Jesus just couldn’t find anyone who had followed his teachings, and when back to prepare for the Third Coming, instead.

  6. Wes
    October 20, 2009 at 8:40 pm


    THIS YEAR 2009, Rosh Hashanah:
    Begins at sundown on Sunday September 20th;
    And ends at nightfall on Tuesday September 22nd!
    If The Rapture takes place this year–
    This would put the Rapture date no later than sundown –

    (Jerusalem Time):
    November 4th 2009!

    (The date of Noah’s flood)


    Well, okay then, I guess I still have time.

  7. October 20, 2009 at 9:02 pm

    It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

    A few scrolls up also gives:

    I believe that the rapture may happen at Midnight on one of these two dates. In the Central Time Zone in the United States, this would be 10/23/09 at 4:00 pm or on 10/26/09 at 4:00 pm. In my calculations, I am assuming that God does not recognize Daylight Savings Time.

  8. Wes
    October 21, 2009 at 7:44 pm

    Daylight Savings Time is of the devil!

  9. DLC
    October 30, 2009 at 6:42 am

    Hey, he’ll get it right, eventually. On a personal level, at least.

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